What am I doing??

Well, it's been quite a while since I've written anything! I'm very sorry about that. I have been trying to keep myself growing the past few months. My finances are starting to become under control. I have permanently pocketed the credit card and am purely living off of my income! What a crazy way to live! :) It's really awesome. I am hoping to become a better steward of the money I've been given and I am actually saving up for things now so I am prepared for future expenses. Isn't God great?

Valentine's Day right? Usually that is a day when single people like myself are not too happy or thinking about how long they have been single. Well, this year was not like that at all! How amazing? I've been working through the book Boy Meets Girl by Joshua Harris with my small group. It's really brought me to have a better understanding of how to date in a healthy way. At the same time, I have been growing more confident in who I am and depending on God instead of people for my affirmation and love. Last year at this time, I was very codependent and that was not a good way to be. I told myself I had to hang out with other people or else I wasn't loved. If people didn't invite me to places or to do things, they didn't like me or want to be around me because I was a bad person. Those were all lies. It took a pretty dramatic event to bring me to change how I was acting. I finally got it though. I am trying to be continually aware of things around me that take my focus off of God in the center of my life. It happens pretty easily it seems.

I just read this book called Going to School in India by Lisa Heydlauff. The book is about various schools around India and the children that go to them. It really is an eye opening book. These kids, they just break my heart. It makes me realize that what I'll be faced with in India is much larger than I can even conceive right now.

I have been really focusing on what I am supposed to be doing right now. I feel like I should just go!!! I am sick of just sitting around here in DC waiting. I was thinking and praying this morning. What if I just left and went to India next year to work at my church's sister church in Mumbai? It's always an option. I don't think it would be the wise thing to do though. I know I have a lot to learn and a lot of areas to grow in before I am ready to face what is there. God has all the time in the world. There are stories of people always waiting for years and years! Why do years seem like such a long time? I guess God likes to develop patience and faith over time. I can do that. I'll wait and grow.

I've recently taken over the small group I have been attending for a little over a year. I am co-leading it with a wonderful person. I am definitely learning a lot with this step in my life. The only downfall of this move is that I now don't have any one discipling me. The leader of the group is moving to the Democratic Republic of the Congo soon. How amazing is that? I'll be praying for someone as knowledgeable and wonderful as her to continue to push me on my journey. This small group is quite amazing though. I am learning how to care for and interact with women in a whole new way. Who would have thought someone super shy would be put in this situation?